Whiteout
I’m obviously white. There simply aren’t that many minorities with my name (shout out to Ice Cube, though). And being white, myself and my pale brethren get an insane amount of privilege. Including, it seems, having our mistakes easily forgiven and forgotten.
Forbes has a list of the top ten most disliked athletes in America, and do you know how many white people are on it? One. Kurt Busch the Nascar driver; and he’s number 10. Tiger Woods and Mike Vick are tied for the number one spot. They’re followed by Plaxico Burress, Ndamukong Suh, Kris Humphries, LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, Terrell Owens and Alex Rodriguez.
I’m a pit bull owner and a diehard Steelers fan, but good lord, why the hell isn’t Ben Roethlisberger on this list? He (allegedly) assaulted women in a bathroom. Shit, poor Humphries comes in fifth and all he did was marry the wrong woman. He was married! He wanted to move to Minnesota. Minnesota! If you hate someone who likes Minnesota more than someone who attacked women, you are out of your goddamn mind.
And what about Burress? He’s the third most hated athlete? The man shot himself in the leg. He’s not a threat. I’d argue that one of the safest places to be in the entire world might be right in front of Burress, while he’s holding a loaded gun. Burress would be fucked, but everyone else would be absolutely fine.
Then there’s Owens. Owens didn’t work all year, but dammit, there is nothing more annoying to Americans than an unemployed black guy.
All the Forbes list does is confirm what we all already know: White people have it good. In fact, if you’re white and reading this, you’re already wondering what you’ll have for lunch. If you’re a minority and reading this, you’re thinking, “Thank god I hate Nascar.”
